A Day of Disappointment - I need a break

sigh.. another disappointment day.. sometimes i hate myself being so realistic.. y cant i live in my own world wif my own fantasy and dreams? it is sad sometimes that waiting for a hope can be so hopeless.. hahaha.. wat was tt? hopeless..

are human meant to be selfish? i guess so.. i think no being in this world are without itsy bitsy selfishness in them.. i am a selfish person.. when i give, i expect sometimes i could take in return.. but am i too selfish? i ask myself, am i not a flexible person? am i too demanding?

it really disappoints me when u highlighted something many, many times, but there are no, not even the slightest improvements.. when u expect tt at least there is some itsy bitsy tiny minor change.. but it still the same.. i wonder how many times more of disappointments can i take.. it leaves me the feeling of insecure.. i hate this feeling..

frens always tell me to be positive.. think positive.. i know.. i know positive, but reality is really tough.. how i wish i could juz blow my brain and tt's it.. poof.. gone.. reality, i cant.. see... i hate this habit of doing reality check every now and then.. sigh... who can help me? myself? how? how can i brain wash myself to be more open? i nid a break! i wanted a break! even if left me alone, i think i shall go for one.. nid to get away from all the things i'm facing now.. i dun think i can wait till 2008 holiday.. i nid a holiday soon...

~the dreamer