Anger

i was really angry at work today.. i blamed it on my boss and i blamed myself for not saying "NO"!

sigh... when i 1st joined tis company, i was very free.. and i helped around as much as i could to keep my time occupied.. till my dear boss, opened his golden mouth and said to the mgmt's staffs tt if they nid any helped in "typing", or anything at all, could look for me.. and from tt stupid day onwards, everything was thrown to me.. i started out to "help" and ended up being "responsible".. i no longer know wat is my job function.. i'm oni required to report to 1 manager.. but now it's like... the security guard is rude, complaint goes to me.. pens are finished, goes to me.. they nid medical card to see panel doc, goes to me.. distribution of staffs clothes, goes to me.. juz bcoz the HR happens to be a director, things have to come to me.. i dun report to her.. even the cleaner lost her card, she come and report to me??!! for wat? i'm not responsible for staffs access card!! how on earth am i suppose to know?? i was not told to KNOW about it.. how come things are shooting at me as if i'm responsible for the slow progress??? aarrgghhh... so many other things.. i juz hate tt mr.OM.. he really make me wanna cry juz now..... i wished i could shout at him and say "HELLO?? i'm juz HELPING??"... aaahhh... those stress... i'm exploding soon..

i came home feeling tired.. i told a colleague how i hate mr.OM.. she understood y and asked if i would like to escape the meeting tomolo... how i wished i could.. i would have gone to see the panel doc and ask for MC.. and tomolo, i'll wake up late and the heck wif them i'm not goin to bother.. sigh... but i'm not tt type.. i will feel guilty and irresponsible.. aaargghhh... i guess tis is wat's wrong wif me!! i cant seem to be cruel!! i want to be harsh, i want to be cruel, at least to HIM! sigh......

i went to secret recipe.. wanted to seek comfort in food & coffee.. i bought a newspaper, ordered a hazelnut latte and a greek salad (dressing tastes weird but i love the cheese cube).. i din get to have a proper relaxation coz my fren juz cant stop sms-ing me.. but i managed to flip all the pages.. hahahaha.. left the place at 10.20pm feeling not bad, telling myself, yea, i could do that again some time.. came home and decided to blog b4 i sleep..

well, it has been a very busy week at work.. stressful too.. but hey, tomolo's friday.. =) though i'm having a deadly meeting at 4pm... i'm still happy coz i've got 2 days off not seeing HIS face.. still, i hope i can still be cool for tomolo's meeting.. cheerio cherries.... woohoo..

~the dreamer